Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Like a spoon full of Sugar

We talked. We're better now. I made sure to fix it before bed. Remember that saying:
"Don't go to bed mad, you might not wake up."
I have NO IDEA who wrote that, but I wasn't about to let a boy, who may or may not be okay, ruin my relationship with my best friend, when he didn't even know he was doing so.

I bet who ever wrote that, had something similar going on. When I thought of that quote, I always thought of lovers quarrels. Never occurred to me that it worked in multiple situations. I suppose, I could consider this a learning experience. I probably will, but for now, I'm happy to consider it resolved. (Hopefully all the way. We'll see tomorrow)

In all honesty, I'm emotionally exhausted.

I really can't handle this *curse-word*.

I hate feelings. :/

Alright, I'm stopping now. It's getting late, and I'm uber tired.

Thanks go to any powers that helped me come to my senses. I couldn't have done it without you. ♥ P.S. Help her too. If she needs it. I hope it all works out, in the end. Learning experiences, Sav, Learning experiences.

Sleep well, little sheep~

I died.

Yeah, So....
I kinda died for a while there. Sorry about that! >.<
But, I have successfully returned! But, I'm in a bind.
I'm in a bruhaha with my best friend over a guy.
And I don't even have a crush on him.
So here's the deal:
He's in my Seminar class.
He's in Her French Class.
I considered liking him, decided against it.
On Monday, she tells me:
"Oh hey, Can N sit with us today?"
"Yeah, sure. :D"
So he sat with us. And he talked a little. Not too much.
That evening, I asked her what the deal was. She said she didn't know if he liked her, and that he sat with us because he has no friends in this lunch.
Please note that when we went to get him, he left a table with a girl that didn't want him to leave. Obviously friends, even if they aren't good ones.
On Tuesday; He sat with us again. AND DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING. At all. What so ever. It was kinda awkward. So, as usual, Gabbs and I talked all lunch and joked around. He spent the lunch staring at us. Her in particular. Made me feel weird, because I thought he was staring at me too. Then a girl at the table behind us says hi to him. He practically cusses her out. And flips her off.
Okay, that's weird, right? It's not just me?

So this morning I decide I want to talk to her about him. I'm the kind of girl that's super protective of her friends. You look at one of my friends funny, and I'll slaughter you. So, of course I'm concerned. She also told me in the texts on Monday, that they texted each other all weekend. Note that, for me, this has come out of the blue. I mean, we used him to say Hi to each other through him, but that was pretty much it. I wanted to know if she liked him. Where this came from, and how I felt about him. So, I told our friends we were going to eat lunch in the Library. She says she doesn't want to ditch him. I tell her I really want to talk to her about him, so He can't be there. "Okay, well, I don't want to be mean and ditch him. Just tell me at lunch." FINE. I'll tell you in the lunch line. That's pretty much the basis of our conversation. I get to school, and talk to Rebe, one of our friends. She doesn't really know what to say, but agrees we need to talk to her. Says she might have 3rd lunch today. "Okay, but I really need to talk to her today, so..." (she wasn't at lunch)

So now for lunch. Everyday, I wait by my classroom and she walks by me to get to lunch, so we walk together. Today, I almost missed her because she was too busy talking to N to come to my side of the hallway, or even stop to get me. So I catch up, and say hello. They say Hi, and continue talking. Alright, fine. I was holding Gabbs arm. but we were coming up on a door, so I had to let go and walk a bit ahead to get through. I was basically ignored from here on in. She was so busy talking to him, that I didn't get to talk to her until we got to the lunch line, and he went to sit with his "not friends." I had talked to him occasionally, but not really developed an opinion of him. I told Gabbs everything I wanted: He cussed out that girl yesterday, and I just don't know about him. Yaddah Yaddah. She rebukes and defends him. Apparently, that girl was really mean to him.We fall into silence, and J pops up with a new topic. We don't talk about this for the rest of lunch. We get through the lunch line and she gets up to go get him. I follow. She didn't notice until I complained when I ran into a table. We got him and went back to our table. I sat on the corner, with Gabbs on my right, as always. He sits next to her. And talks. He talks all lunch period. J is talking to the guy she likes, occasionally to me, and Gabbs basically ignores me. I chime in to their conversation every now and then, but was unusually quiet. Gabbs noticed, said something, and N said something to me too. Before this, I hadn't talked much at all. I finished chewing, and replied with a lame excuse. "I'm just hungry" I said. They accepted this, and went back to what they were talking about. I chimed in a bit, and was pulled into the talk at the very end of lunch. Pretty much talked all of 5 minutes. It sucked. I am usually a loud, outgoing person. Always leading conversations, and joking around. I think I got a little jealous when she ignored me. I honestly don't know. During lunch, I got a weird feeling from him. Something dark, something off about him. I don't know what it is.

This afternoon, Gabbs and I both started texting. She thought I was mad at her. I thought she was mad at me. Anyways, I tell her about the weird vibe I got from him. She keeps asking what it is. If there's a reason I don't like him. Why it's only me that has a problem with him. I tell her I'm just concerned. And I am. I always look out for my girls when they have crushes on boys, or some other problem. Even if it's not my problem.

Well now, I'm pretty sure I made her mad. And I'm upset. If I lose a friend over this stupid boy, I don't know what I'll do. She's my best friend. If this doesn't work out, then I don't know what I'll do. Great. Now I'm crying. I HATE crying. Another thing wrong with me, I'm sure. I really hope I'm wrong about him. And that he can turn out to be a really nice guy. But I just don't know. I'm going to talk to my friend who knows him, and see what she says. I know I should stay out of it. It's none of my business. "I can take care of myself. Always have, always will. I like it that way."She says. But, I'm still going to do it. No matter what she says, I'm still going to look out for her. She just won't know it. I just hope I don't lose her.

And if we don't make up or sweep this under the rug tomorrow, Friday, when all of our friends are supposed to get together is going to be awkward. :/ Hopefully, it'll be fine. I told her I was upset when she ignored me. I don't think she paid too much attention to it though. Here's hoping.

Sincerely upset,
Sav ♥